Compliments are typically used to make a person feel good or to praise them. They could be used before and after a big event. Even a positive comment, on someone’s style. Even with positive and encouraging words used for compliments, they could still have a negative effect on people’s mindsets. Different people take words differently.
There are a wide variety of compliments that are commonly used. A Subject complement is used to rename someone. Ex: “You are talented; “She is my best friend”. An Object complement will be used to give new identities Ex: “He is our new Class President”. “We were wrong about this”. Verb compliments are used to wish someone luck or to encourage. Ex: “Good luck on the show” and “Make sure to have fun”. Adjective complement is used to give information about someone “We were shocked she was still alive”. An Adverbial complement is an adverb, it gives meaning to the given intention Ex: “We will aim for that promotion to manager”. Most of these compliments are used similarly which would confuse people who are not familiar with the types.
While most people don’t see a problem with these types of compliments and even put them in a positive light, occasionally compliments can be placed as agents of yours.
The phrase “fishing for compliments” is a good example of this harmful behavior. Humans, by design, are programmed to chase after validation and what makes them feel good. So a person “fishing for compliments’ ‘could be someone who is so hooked up on others’ validation could end up as a danger to themselves once they don’t receive validation.
Attention seeking is another one. An “attention-seeking person” could have been someone who was raised as a child, feeling the need to act out in order to feel heard. The person might have never had a chance to speak out so they feel the need to look for people who do give them attention. Or they might be someone who doesn’t understand that other people have other important tasks or duties.
A person that might give little validation, could be someone who thinks that validation is earned instead of given away freely. People who aren’t affectionate versus someone who is more affectionate aren’t different people. Not everyone shows affection the right way.
A person with low self-esteem or a person who seeks attention from others could fall victim to this type of mindset, trying too hard to make a good impression. Most people could end up neglecting tasks or duties because they end up trying too hard to look good for other people. While dressing nice is a good thing to do for yourself, it does become extremely exhausting when you do it for other people. If you do find yourself in this type of mindset, it would be healthier to dress in the way you would like to and not think about other peoples’ opinions or views of you.
Yet, not every bad mindset is self-inflicted. Developing secure feelings with others is a normal thing that most people do. However, it is important to remember that these feelings can’t always stay. Feelings of their validation eventually stop, you could end up chasing after that validation that you didn’t know you craved.
Overall, compliments are okay and most people who give them won’t always have bad intentions. Compliments are safe as long as you have a healthy mindset. Take them in as they are said. Your behavior should not change because of someone else’s opinion of who you are or who you should be.
