Katie’s Column: Changes
December 15, 2020
Everything is happening too quickly. Events in my life that always seemed like a million years away are all coming up without hesitation. Without our normal routines due to the COVID-19 pandemic, a lot of standard milestones over the past few months have been brushed off or erased entirely. Even with the never ending sameness of the days and the feeling like time is suspended, we are rapidly moving to the next stage of our lives. The days have all bled together even as monumental events go on around us. This is why it’s so hard to comprehend that during this time we’re all still growing up.
What made me realize all of this is that in just a few months I’ll be able to find out who my biological father is. A “donor dad” is not a normal thing to have by any means. The way mine was set up, the system releases his name and contact information once I turn eighteen. This is in order to prevent custody issues or other problems that could stem from either side knowing the other’s identity. Wondering whether any actor, serial killer, or politician who happened to be a middle-aged white man was my father has always been something to think about as a kid whenever I was bored. He could theoretically be one of my teachers, my mom’s coworker, or anyone and soon I’ll actually know. At one time I had planned out just how I wanted to call him and what we would talk about, and that could all happen in less than a year. What was once seemingly a very distant and almost impossible event is now about to happen.
I’ve already been accepted into a college and will most likely move to the East coast, as long as the pandemic dies down by the fall. When this all started, I didn’t really know what colleges I wanted to apply to or even how to do it. Now I might have to choose a college without ever actually visiting it, blindly through their outdated websites. Suddenly we all might be going on each of our different paths without really getting the closure that we all need.
Due to COVID-19 I might have already performed in my last musical and had my last day of actual high school. My last show and my last day of school would have probably been days filled with celebration and joy as those chapters in my life came to a close. However we didn’t know those days might be our last so they have almost lost that importance when looking back on them. It may be pessimistic but the way that cases are spiking in our area, the likelihood of returning to school or seeing people again is diminishing day by day.
It feels like I’m going to blink and be in a dorm room on the other side of the country or worst case scenario a college freshman logging on through Zoom.